Tortures of the Damned

My father was just reminiscing about a letter he wrote to the Japanese Prime Minister 15 years ago after having found out that Japan was the number one producer of child pornography. He stated therein that he hoped the purveyors of said pornography "would find their children f&^ked in the ass with 14-inch pipes." "I didn't receive a response," he mused.

Thereafter, he checked the fluids in my car. It is cold and rainy out.

It turns out that I am low on several vital liquids and he is going to the store to obtain them, "but first I am going to put on a very thick sweater THAT IS ALSO ON FIRE. How f*^cking cold can it get?!"